Love Me Until...

002 |

2005-11-11T14:50:00.000+08:00

"Well, it seems like we're making some progress, my dear. Didn't you say that you were having dreams about people you somehow recognize?"

Lee looked at Soo-Hyuk beside her before replying, "Yes. Sometimes."

The doctor nodded, "Chotsumnida. It means that your memory is slowly being restored. But I'm not rushing things... and you shouldn't too."

Nodding, Lee's hand felt for Soo-Hyuk's. Soo-Hyuk saw this, and immediately held her hand firmly. "Dr. Kim, can we speak privately for a moment?" he asked.

"Sure."

Soo-Hyuk looked at Lee, "Wait for me outside, alright?" he said. Lee nodded, stood up and turned to leave. Before she went out of the door, she walked back to the doctor's table and shook hands with him. Then, she took Soo-Hyuk's mp3 player in his pocket and left.

"How long has she been staying with you again?" Dr. Kim asked.

"About a year and a half now."

The doctor nodded and looked at Soo-Hyuk. "What is it that you wanted to speak to me about?"

Soo-Hyuk fidgeted with his hands for a moment, composing his thoughts. Looking at the doctor, he asked, "When she remembers everything from her past, will she... well..."

"Will she forget you?" Dr. Kim completed the question for him. Soo-Hyuk just nodded. The doctor sighed, his right hand pinching his chin, "In most cases, patients like Lee forget everything about the alternate lives they lived, as if they died for a period of time and got born again into the world. Their sense of time gets blurry. What they remember clearly is the day they met the circumstance that caused them their loss of memory."

"But there are some cases wherein patients remember remnants of their alternate lives. Remnants meaning some. They remember certain things when they hear certain sounds, smell certain smells, taste certain flavors..."

"How about her? Do you think she will forget me? Everything we had?" Soo-Hyuk interrupted.

A moment of silence filled the room. Dr. Kim shook his head, "I'm sorry, Soo-Hyuk ssi. You will have to discover that by yourself."

Soo-Hyuk saw Lee standing outside the hospital, wearing earphones and gently swaying her head to the beat of the music she was listening to. He smiled slightly, seeing her moving her arms like she was playing imaginary drums. Biting his lower lip, he remembered what Dr. Kim told him a while ago, and felt a strange emptiness in his chest.

Just in time, Lee looked behind her and saw him. She waved at him with a smile and made her way inside the hospital. On her way in, though, she bumped into a little girl who dropped a bear bean baby.

"Oh... choe song hamnida..." Lee said, crouching down to pick up the bear bean baby.

Soo-Hyuk stopped walking just to watch Lee giving the toy to the little girl. She apologized to the little girl and her mom, and then patted the little girl's head gently before she saw them leave.

"You know them?" Soo-Hyuk asked, walking over to Lee.

Lee shook her head, "Anni-o." She looked up at him with bright, smiling eyes, "Ka ja?"

Ashley rubbed the bridge of her nose to keep herself from crying. She had received a call this morning that she thought would be fate's belated birthday present to her, but as the photos flashed before her eyes, she felt emptiness again.

"Mwaeyo?" Young-Bin, her boyfriend asked, just coming in.

She politely smiled at the officer, "Komawosoyo," she said softly and put the photos back inside the folder. "It's not her."

Young-Bin squeezed her shoulder and heard her say, "They have the wrong person." He nodded. He'd heard the line several times before, and he was also crushed to hear it once again with an extremely exasperated voice.

"Are you alright? You look ill," he asked when he took a good look at her when they got out of the police station.

She shook her head, "I'm fine. Don't you have work to do?"

"I can take you home or your workplace, or wherever---"

"I said, I'm fine. I can take a cab to the restaurant from here," she said with a faint smile.

He hated it when she did that. It made his heart crumble like a soft cookie. "This girl is so stubborn," he thought and smiled back at her. She said a faint goodbye and hailed a cab. He followed her to the pavement until a cab stopped in front of them and opened the door for her.

"Komawosoyo," she said, "I'll see you later." The cab drove off.

"You're breaking, Ashley," Young-Bin thought as he watched the cab moving farther and farther away. "Why are you so scared to show it?"

"Are you even looking for her?" Ashley said, raising her voice.

Lee Min Shik had a temper, but he knew how to keep his composure. The restaurant they were having coffee in was posh, elegant and established. He was a regular and respected customer there, and he dare not tarnish his reputation. He put down his coffee cup and looked straight into Ashley's eyes, "Believe me... I had spent sleepless nights."

"Doing what? Flirting in your bars?" she accused. "She had been telling me about you, you know. I'm surprised you even had the courage to propose marriage."

"And she said yes, didn't she?" Min Shik said casually.

Ashley composed herself, "It's been more than a year."

"I know."

"You were by her side!"

"She ran away..."

"Wae?" Ashley asked. "If she loved you like you claim she does, why would she run away like that? Without anything? Wae?"

Min Shik shook his head, "This is getting old, Ashley. Honestly, why don't we..."

"Why should I listen to you, Min Shik ssi --- when you can't even answer my question?" Ashley stood up to leave, but Min Shik grabbed her wrist.

"I AM looking for her too, Ashley," he said. "And you're not the only one hurting." There were tears brimming in Min Shik's eyes.

Ashley pulled her hand back. "Choesong hamnida," she said softly. "I have to go now. Call me if you have news."

Footnotes:

Chotsumnida = That's good. | Choesong hamnida = I'm sorry. | Anni-o = No. | Ka ja = Let's go. | Wae? = Why?

001|

2005-11-03T09:56:00.000+08:00

"I have my reasons," he rationalized, standing in front of her door. He was just a few inches away from the wooden surface that hindered him from seeing her, but he heard her muffled sobs from within. He sighed and shook his head. He had hurt her.

Lee's hand trembled as she quickly wrote down on her diary. Everytime she would sob, she'd cover her mouth to keep herself from making noise. Soo-Hyuk loved music. He despised noise most of all, and she was not about to hear another angry word at him because she sobbed too loud.

After all, it was her fault.

Soo-Hyuk ssi is mad at me. What am I going to do?
What am I going to do?
I didn't mean to get lost. I didn't mean to scare him or make him mad.
I just wanted him to have those shiny new drumsticks for his gig.
Babo imnida... I'm so sorry oppa.

She wrote, almost unintelligibly, tears staining the page of her little diary. When she couldn't think of what to write anymore, she buried her face in her pillow and cried continuously through the night.

Somewhere in the night, another person shed tears. She looked at her watch lying on her bedside table. It was way past her bedtime and her birthday. This was the first birthday she celebrated without someone she held dear to her heart.

The television was blaring in her room, but she couldn't hear a thing. She was lost in world of her own, a world that existed in the past. Life had been hard on them, she remembered, but she had never felt so empty. Even with her boyfriend around, she always felt alone and groping for another hand: a hand that would always hold hers whenever she slept.

It has been more than a year. She didn't want to lose hope, but her faith was wavering as a candlelight would against a breeze. They had told her about the accident, but there wasn't a body to confirm her worst fears.

She remembered a game they used to play when they were kids. Hide-and-seek. Somehow, she always ended up seeking for minutes that turned to hours until she finally gave up and ended up spending for ice cream.

"I know you've always wanted me to give up looking for you," she thought, "But this time, I will find you. If only for the first and last time."

It was Soo-Hyuk who prepared breakfast that day, but he waited more than an hour in front of the table before Lee went out of her room. When she saw him sitting solemnly in front of the table, she hurriedly but quietly joined him.

There were no words spoken between them. Only the clinking of silver against glass can be heard. Lee kept her eyes on her cereal and hot chocolate, while Soo-Hyuk waited for her to at least look at him, even for a second.

As soon as she was through, Lee gathered her dishes and washed them one by one in the sink. She wanted to ask Soo-Hyuk if he was through so that she could wash his dishes along with hers, but she couldn't bring herself to. She was still afraid of him, and his silence meant he didn't want to talk.

She waited for him to speak, until she wiped the very last drop of water on her hand, but he didn't. Behind her, Soo-Hyuk was having a hard time chewing his food, his words lumping in his throat. He waited for her to look at him, but she didn't. If a heart breaking could be heard, someone was bound to hear it at that moment.

As Lee walked away to her room without a word, a single tear from Soo-Hyuk's left eye dropped into his half-consumed coffee. He had decided.

"Mian hae..."

Those two words made Lee stop. She was unsure what to do. Before she could turn around, she felt Soo-Hyuk's hands on both her shoulders. Gently, his hands traveled the length of her arms, and stopped at her hands. He clutched her hands tightly, enveloping her in an embrace.

Back against his chest, she felt the strong and steady beat of his heart, and she imagined the steady beats he made with the drums he loved to play. For what seemed an eternity, Soo-Hyuk held Lee's hands, taking in all the warmth she had inside.

"These hands will never hurt you again," he said.

She tilted her head slightly to look at him, and she felt him plant a kiss in her hair. Another tear fell from his eye and landed on Lee's cheek.

Alarmed that he was crying, Lee let go of his hands and turned around to look at him. "Oppa?" she said, "Please don't cry."

Soo-Hyuk smiled, and a heartbeat later, he let out a small laugh as he carelessly wiped his tears from his eyes. He grabbed her from the waist and pulled her closer to him, "Unbelievable," he whispered to her ear.

"What is?"

"You being so light," he replied. "Like you're not really in my arms."

"But I am!" Lee said, laughing as Soo-Hyuk spinned her around the room, slowly, as if they were dancing and floating at the same time.

Soo-Hyuk looked into her eyes, "I know. Komawo..."

Lee smiled, "For what?"

"For being in my arms right now."

"Here," Soo-Hyuk gave an old, beaten up pair of drumsticks to Lee.

Half-surprised, Lee took the drumsticks and ran her fingers against it, slightly wincing as she felt the jagged surface.

Soo-Hyuk noticed the expression on her face, "Omo... are you hurt?"

Lee looked at her index finger and saw a little drop of blood. "Aish..." Soo-Hyuk whined, "Even with these little things you still hurt yourself. What am I going to do with you, huh?" He grabbed her hand and looked at the wound.

"It's nothing," Lee said.

Soo-Hyuk looked at her knowingly, "It'd better be. I have no intention to spend for a hospital again," he said.

"I feel sad."

He let go of her hand and looked at her. "Waegurae?"

Lee held up the drumsticks, "Look at them... aren't they a pity to look at?" She touched the sticks again, "It must've hurt."

Soo-Hyuk laughed softly, "Babo-ya? These are just drumsticks. They don't have feelings."

"What if they did and we just don't know it?" Lee asked. "Is it worth it to hurt like this?"

An air of silence ensued. Lee is in one of her complexing moods again, and Soo-Hyuk was swayed. He remembered Tae-Young all of a sudden, and then remembered the day he met Lee. He gazed at her for a while before he spoke, "Yeah," he said, nodding. "Sometimes it is worth it."

FOOTNOTES:

Babo imnida = I'm stupid/foolish. | Mian hae = I'm sorry. | Komawo = Thanks/Thank you. | Waegurae? = What's wrong?

Tae-Young / Kang Tae-Young is an original character from SBS Lovers in Paris portrayed by actress Kim Jung Eun.

Prologue : Rainy Day

2005-11-01T15:36:00.000+08:00

Soo-Hyuk hurriedly entered the house, his clothes drenched from the rain. Shivering from the cold, he ran to his room and took off his shirt before covering himself up in a blanket. His jaws clenched and his brows furrowed.

Minutes later, he heard a knock on the door. Immediately, he went to the door and opened it. A smiling Lee greeted him, "Oppa!" she said, "I'm home!"

"Get inside," Soo-Hyuk firmly said.

Sensing something wrong, Lee bowed her head as she entered the house, clutching a small package to her chest. She watched, bewilderedly, as Soo-Hyuk went straight to the kitchen and made a racket with the kitchen utensils.

"Soo-Hyuk ssi..."

Soo-Hyuk turned to her, holding a cup of coffee. His eyes were piercing, and it was the first time she ever saw him like that. She was terrified.

"Where have you been?" Soo-Hyuk growled, banging the cup on the table and spilling some of the coffee on his hand. Lee knew the hot coffee seared Soo-Hyuk's skin, but he didn't even cringe.

"Soo-Hyuk ssi," she said, approaching him and reaching for his hand, "Your hand... does it hurt?"

Violently, Soo-Hyuk pulled his hand away, "Where have you been?" he asked, louder this time.

"I just... I just went to..."

"Didn't I tell you not to go anywhere without me? Do you hear that rain? Did you know how scared I was not finding you here??? Do you know???" The veins in Soo-Hyuk's neck bulged in his anger.

Shaking as her tears fell, Lee said, "Mian hae, Soo-Hyuk ssi. Mian hae..."

"Go to your room," Soo-Hyuk said and sipped his coffee. He turned around and poured the remaining coffee in the sink.

"Soo-Hyuk ssi..." Lee said, muffling her cries. "I didn't mean to make you worry. I just... I just thought I'd be back here before you came. I... I forgot where I should pass --- honest, I just forgot!"

"Go to your room."

"Please don't be mad," she pleaded and with both hands, held out the package she brought earlier.

Soo-Hyuk waved his hand away and the package fell on the floor. He gripped Lee's shoulders tightly, "If you do this again, I will leave you on the streets!" he said and pushed her away. Lee almost hit the wall when she fell on the floor.

Crying, Lee picked herself up and ran to her room.

Soo-Hyuk was left in the kitchen, hands still shaking from the cold and his anger. Looking down, he noticed the package that Lee was trying to give him earlier. Slowly, he picked it up and read the note that came with it.

Oppa,

Don't use the old one anymore. I pity them. They look old and beat up.
I love you.

Lee

It took Soo-Hyuk a moment before he opened the package and pulled out a new pair of shiny drumsticks. Feeling sick to the stomach, Soo-Hyuk buried his head in his hands, thinking, "God, what is happening to me?"